Lets talk about PTSD and Anxiety

So this is A video I had done a few days ago. I had gotten great response from It from a few people who have seen it. Its not talked about often the after affects of having cancer and what it can do to you.  In the beginning I had no idea what I was feeling or how to handle it. It was scary at first because it was the unknown to me and I felt like I was doing something wrong. Until I started being open and honest and talking with my friends and my doctors did I realize that I was having PTSD symptoms and that it was totally normal and I was going to be be okay. There a lot of different kinds of PTSD and anxiety and I am not an expert at anything ( except maybe on my own body) so I am not going to sit here and tell you that this is what you should do and this is what you should take and this is how you should feel. I  just want to be open and honest and let everyone reading this know that if you are in the same boat I am, then you're not alone.

Dr. Margaret Stuber, a researcher with UCLA's Jonsson Comprehensive Cancer Center.

35% of all cancer survivors have PTSD and up to 80% exhibit symptoms of it. Are you struggling after cancer and don't know why? Susan Gonzalez talks with Michele Rosenthal, a PTSD survivor and expert about how you can tell if you might have PTSD and what you can do about it.

If you would like to talk about your symptoms please seek medical attention. I am not a doctor.

Some Info On AML Leukemia. (which is what I have)

SO I was diagnosed with AML last May and of course one of the first things that I did was go straight to google and Web MD. ( not the best idea) So from there: after I gave myself a panic attack: I talked  to my doctor and he basically explained it to me just like this video did. Which made it much easier for me to explain it to my friends and family. 

When you have easy information it helps.

This website isn't just about my diagnosis. So If any would like me to find any type of info for you about whichever type of cancer you have please feel free to comment or email the page. 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itkRVTqfPsE  

↑↑ Link for the video

Do you have limitations?

Ok yeah I get it, the quote is nice but does it really mean anything? I have cancer....Hello the whole world is a limitation to me. But is it really? I have met some of the most wonderful people in the 10 months of me being sick, both in and out of the hospital and among those people they have not let any limitation stop them. Im not talking about riding the Tour De France but what I am talking about is setting goals and making yourself live up to them. Have you ever made a do list for your home or for the weekend? Well that is what I am talking about. Make a "cancer" list. A list of all the things cancer will not stop you from doing. 


My Cancer List:
Blog about my experience
beat cancer
be the best mom I can
be there for my friends and family
get all info on my cancer and have knowledge on it
make list for doctors and don't be afraid to ask questions
go to the zoo with my son
attend a seminar
go to school online?
read books


Your list can be simple but don't ever say you can't just because you have cancer. There are some things you won't be able to do ( of course) but there are so many things that you now can do while you are beating this!!! You have so many options now, don't let your "limitations" stop you from trying new things or finishing something you always wanted to. 

             LIMITATIONS ONLY EXIST IF YOU LET THEM!

I hate bills...

I hate bills

And it feels like it is never ending. I hate getting the mail for this reason. You never know what is going to come in the mail for that day. A lot of people don't understand the financial toxicity that having cancer strains you. It's not easy going through a disease, never mind a life threatening one and then trying to make sure your bills are paid on time and that you have all your cancer medication that you need. It's truly a trying time for any cancer patient. The stress of having no money but needing so much puts lots of pressure on us. 

Simple things like gift cards to the food store or gas help out so much. 

There is a support page on this blog with a few links so webpages that can help you locate a foundation that can help you with some financial strain. 

 This was the beginning of my journey. My very first picc line and first bag of chemo. It was the start to a new life I didn't want and didn't and for but guess what I was living it. And I had decided to live each day with a smile on my face and to share my journey with anyone who would listen. IT'S NOT EASY!! It totally sucks having to go through this day in and day out not knowing what the next day is going to bring and what my "numbers" are going to be and what will this "team" of doctors (who now know everything about me) are going to tell me about myself. It's scary. Your entire world changes in just a few words "you have cancer" and people who don't have it or haven't experience anyone with cancer doesn't understand the told it takes on not just you but your entire family. I'm a mom. At the time I was diagnosed my son was 3 years old and that was the most heartbreaking thing to have gone through for me. I had to LEAVE MY BABY. I was diagnosed May 17th and the day I went home was June 20th. Think about that. My work was completely turned upside down and If it wasn't for amazing family support and my son's father being there for me and loving me through this I don't think I would have been able to make it. It takes a great toll on a person when they are told they have a life threatening illness, i mean your life is at risk of being taken away, its scary...  And for the people who don't have the best support system I don't know how you do it because you are way stronger then me. 💛💛

 DHREMO CHEMO STICKERS

The hardest part is saying it.

So my very first post was Hi, my name is Amanda and I have Leukemia... That was the hardest sentance ever. And it so is. Some people are really easy going and like to share everything like me and are willing to answer questions people have ( and believe me people have lots of them) but some people just want to be to themselves. They want to forget what they are going through and they just want to be done with there treatment. I totally get it and I understand both sides. For me it was the easiest thing to do to be open and honest about what I was going through. I was happy to share my story and I still am. My mom and friend Jenna made these bracelets for me that we sold as part of a fund raiser so that we could raise money for medical bills. It was the nicest gesture every although Im stuck with about 100 of them now. The problem is you think more people care then actually do. Even when you are sick it is just you and you only. The doctors don't know how much it costs for medical treatment and they aren't going to pay for it either. So If you don't have the best of insurances (i don't know what that is anyway) then you need to what you can to pay for your medical treatments. 

There are so many foundations out there willing to help you out that its okay to take a deep breath! Yes inhale and exhale. I have listed a few on the page SUPPORT. if you clicl the name of one it will redirect you to a site that you can find all kinds of information. 

The hard part is saying it, I know I was there and still am I NEED HELP!!! Cancer is such a finacial toxicity, its sickening how many billions of dollars the big pharma companies make. But there is help out there!!!!   

Its ok to lose your shit!!!

So this is one of my favorite quotes right here and I know its a lot of bad words but I'm an adult and I can take it. SHIT HAPPENS! and its okay to lose your shit... Im tired of people trying to have fake smiles on and trying to act like they don't need a break. Everyone does! Everyone needs to explode one time or another. I mean even if its not dealing with cancer, you just need a break. 

🙌
The stress of cancer is so much. Whether it be you who has it or your child or a family member or a spouse, the stress of just the word cancer gives me anxiety.

so, while you are going through the struggle of dealing with cancer, its totally 100% fine to lose your shit.